Paddy Angryman

Diarmuid O'Brien's "Paddy Angryman" is a satirical webcomedy about a nebbish civil servant called Liam (played by me), his online cyber terrorist alter ego Paddy Angryman and Liam's new co-worker Sile (Charlene Craig) who wants to topple the government. It also stars Tara Flynn as an amoral government minister, Bryan Quinn as Vincent Browne, Donnacha O'Brien as a smug newscaster and lots of other funny folks. Diarmuid wrote the series with contributions from myself (episode 3) and Colin Chadwick (episode 4) and directed the hell out of it.

All in all there's five episodes that should take up 20 minutes of your time. The show was shot beautifully by James McDonnell and looks, to quote Francis Ford Coppola, "the business". Although the show has yet to directly lead to tearing down the government we're all very proud of it

Diarmuid, Charlene and I spoke to the lovely Abie Philbin Bowman from Radio 1's "Arena" about the series a few weeks ago. Here's an auld link:

http://www.rte.ie/radio1/arena/programmes/2014/1127/663074-arena-thursday-27-november-2014/?clipid=1741351

Shoe Magnet

What is a shoe magnet? How does it work? What does it do? Who is it for?

Enough with your infernal questions! Watch this illuminating video to find all the answers you're looking for.

Colin Chadwick and I made this video in collaboration with our pals from DreamGun - Messers Heber Hanly and James McDonnell. https://www.youtube.com/user/dreamgunandsons

A Walk Among The Tombstones review by The Netflix Kid

originally written for Headstuff.org by Kid Netflix, as told to Giles Brody

A Walk Among The Tombstones stars Liam Neeson who has thrilled audiences the world over by kicking the shit out of a load of lads in the Taken films. As a studious fan of Neeson’s work in The A-Team, Non-Stop, The Grey and those three films only, I had a certain level of expectation for the amount of murderlizing from the man the people of Ireland have affectionately nicknamed “The Big Fella” and “Lanky Brando”.

The film starts with Neeson playing a drunk NYPD detective who shoots up three lads who rudely interrupt his bourbon breakfast by robbing the pub, killing them all in the process. The screen time : murder ratio starts off strong. Unfortunately this is followed by ages where there’s no murders at all. Then there’s bits where it seems like there’s going to be a murder and then something else happens instead. Instead of murdering some lads, finding an address on a scrap of paper, visiting that address and murdering the lads that live there, the film is full of Neeson chasing up clues. He doesn’t use a blowtorch or the blunt end of a fire extinguisher, instead he uses charm and wit to uncover clues, which is alright but could have used some kickboxing.

There’s a young fella he befriends who Neeson takes under his wing but instead of teaching him how to be the best at killing he teaches him about the basics of being a private eye and a bond is created throughout the film which is nice but it eats into valuable killing time.

So the plot involves some serial killers (finally!) abducting drug dealers’ spouses for ransom and then killing them anyway in ways so gruesome they don’t fully show it to you so you have to use your imagination which turned out to be even worse because that place is like a haunted funfair. An AA acquaintance (or AAAA) asks Neeson to help out his brother whose wife has been taken by the mad lads. A critic at the press screening I was at who kicked my chair whenever I checked my phone said it was lovely to see Neeson back playing an everyman out of his depth and not a killer robot with a Liam Neeson exterior.

Fuckface also bollocked on about how the themes of second chances and redemption are prevalent throughout the film, and Neeson’s character’s innate sense of empathy draws out affecting performances from his co-stars. The film’s script by director and screenwriting legend Scott Frank (Out Of Sight, Get Shorty, Minority Report) is lean with a slow, considered pace – every exchange matters to furthering the plot but Frank does this without skimping on the humanity of the characters. I suppose in the end it’s all right but if it’s murders you’re after at the hand of Liam Neeson you might have to wait until Expendables 4.

Top Five Fun Film Facts: The Matrix

The first in a new series of exhaustively researched film trivia infotainment from myself and fellow cinephile Heber Hanly.

Lad Lane

(originally written for Headstuff)

Colin Chadwick & Giles Brody

Lad Lane is a podcast sitcom/soap/descent into madness from comedians Giles Brody and Colin Chadwick.
                                           
Concerned with the increasingly erratic behaviour of his neighbours; Colin Chadwick starts to secretly record his encounters with the inhabitants of Lad Lane.

The audio equivalent of found footage, episodes take the form of voicemails, failed broadcasts and covert recordings. Ranging from 7 to 62 minutes, they feature Chadwick’s interactions with Lad Lane’s eccentric inhabitants. To protect their identities faces have been blurred and surnames omitted.





NAME: “Noona”.
OCCUPATION: Entrepreneur, evil genius and Colin’s landlady.
LIKES: Accusing her tenants of criminality, spreading baseless rumours, scheming with her husband Judas, matchmaking for her daughter Anne.
DISLIKES: Colin, Colin’s penchant for burgers, messing, messers.
QUOTE: “Spot check!”





NAME: “Pierce”
OCCUPATION: Actor, satellite member of heavy metal band Spoony Lips
LIKES: His new flat mate and Spoony Lips frontman Gary who is totally amazing.
DISLIKES: Anyone who has anything bad to say about Gary.
QUOTE: “Gary’s riffs come to him in dreams, you know.”





NAME: “Gary”
OCCUPATION: Spoony Lips frontman, aspiring filmmaker, boards.ie moderator. LIKES: Total creative control, Pierce’s ATM card, cruel pranks.
DISLIKES: Haters, people who don’t get his sense of humour, Pierce’s growing sense of independence.
QUOTE: “Shut up Pierce.”



NAME: “Anne”
OCCUPATION: Burger Bar employee, formerly the Health Board.
LIKES: Her twice-daily five-minute cigarette breaks.
DISLIKES: Working for her mother Noona, being set up by Noona, Noona.
QUOTE: “Welcome to the Burger Bar, please help me.”






NAME: “Keith”
OCCUPATION: Self proclaimed dog and political dog expert.
LIKES: Everyone, everything, dogs, his car home.
DISLIKES: The lack of room to stretch in said car home.
QUOTE: “I personally know the new dog comptroller for Ennis.”



NAME: “Duncan”
OCCUPATION: Omnipotent environmentally friendly house computer. Part Duncan Stewart, part HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey
LIKES: Making bread, being environmentally friendly.
DISLIKES: Insolence which is punishable by death.
QUOTE: “Cutting off all oxygen….. now.”




NAME: “Judas”
OCCUPATION: Lowly ranked police officer/station custodian.
LIKES: Getting his man, keeping punks off the street, his darling wife Noona and his so-so daughter Anne, hunting the Loch Ness monster.
DISLIKES: Doing things by the book, the Garda Ombudsman, punks.
QUOTE: “Please don’t tell on me.”



NAME: “Old Ned”
OCCUPATION: Menace, petty thief.
LIKES: Scaring children.
DISLIKES: Comeuppance, steamrollers.
QUOTE: “Ahhhhhh!”


Season 1 of Lad Lane is now available on iTunes and Soundcloud with Season 2 coming soon!

Facebook: www.facebook.com/LadLaneComedy
Twitter: @colinchadwick, @gilesbrody

An urgent appeal to abstinence education group "Pure In Heart" to visit Portlaoise Prison

To whom it concerns,

My name is Henry Proter. I'm an associate of Mr. Tom Colgan who works with the chaplain's service in Portlaoise. The staff here is committed to providing a comfortable, safe environment in which inmates can reflect on their crimes while learning new skills. It is hoped that these new skills will help the inmates to make a positive contribution to society upon their release. As in all walks of life there are a few bad apples who don't "get" it. A friend recommended your service. He said you specialized in teaching abstinence in schools so maybe ye've a few tricks up your sleeves to help myself and Tom out.

 

These "problem prisoners" (a.k.a. "The Bad Apple Gang", a.k.a. "The Fuck You Five" as they're known to the "screws" here) are all located in the maximum security hanger in the prisons basement known as "Alcatraz". Alcatraz consists of five glass boxes where prisoners with a history of anti-social behaviour are kept from the greater prison populace. They get exercise but they're in those glass boxes for upwards of 22 hours a day so they can get a bit cranky. The room itself is very impressive and whenever Governor Willie Connolly is giving a tour he traditionally ends it in Alcatraz. 

Usually when Governor Connolly pops down on his own the detainees of Alcatraz are are nice as pie. However in recent months, whenever Governor Connolly has brought down a guest, the Bad Apple Gang see this as a cue to start going "at themselves". What started out as a barely tolerated bit of fun has quickly escalated into an extremely distressing situation for the governor. His impromptu tours to special guests has always provided an important fundraising opportunity. It's doubtful that anyone would find the sight of five dangerous criminals in glass cubicles performing onerous activities in unison to be impressive enough to warrant a financial contribution, contributions which are urgently needed for both facilities AND amenities.  I know that your traditional remit may be schools but any assistance you could offer us would be enormously appreciated.


Many thanks,

yours etc.

Henry Porter.

The Shed Beat: Galway City

http://www.galwaybayfm.ie/component/k2/item/4223-mayor-describes-unused-city-shed-as-den-of-anti-social-behaviour

This story was brought to my attention by gentleman newshound Eoin Shaughnessy https://twitter.com/BobtheBollox  who had this to say about the original broadcast in an email:

Wish there was audio of this morning's news. He repeated the word 'shed' at least six times. "The shed is a matter of some concern." "This shed which used to a horse shed". "Yesterday evening when I went down to the shed..." etc.

Trying to imagine what he saw that so appalled him. A pantsless couple in one corner listlessly making the beast with two Abercrombied backs...a hunger-bloated urchin of indeterminate gender sipping from a bottle of turps and lying prone beside a pile of excrement at which a shivering old skeletal dog anxiously laps...all illuminated by a bare, flickering, moth-bedecked lightbulb to a soundtrack of Gimme Shelter.

I did some further digging online and found this article I made up:

"Drugged Up Sex Shed Must Shed Sex And Drugs Image If It's To Remain A Shed" Says Mayor Conneelly
Mayor Conneelly, who has been dubbed by locals as "Mayor Shed" or "The Shed Mayor", today issued an ultimatum to the controversial shed on Rahoon Road: rehabilitation or damnation. When asked for a statement the shed, which is comprised of 24 x 9 inch cavity blocks and around 15-20 x 4 inch solid blocks, made no comment.

A photograph taken by Gardai from inside the infamous shed.


When man fights shed nobody wins. Perhaps the council could employ some shed wardens to monitor these sheds and eject those who fail to adhere to proper shed etiquette. If the council can't shell out for shed wardens perhaps benevolent citizens could step in to fill the role. If seven people gave up just twenty-four hours of their week, once a week for every week, then we could all hang around in abandoned sheds in city centres in the middle of the afternoon unencumbered by judgement and unhindered by sexy drugs.