There Will Be Mitching

This was made in 2009 with the Transition Year students of the Presentation College, Athenry. Of the three classes I worked with, they were by far the most challenging i.e. 95% of them were dicks, although in their defence they were 16 and in a big group.

Special thanks to the 5% who were a lot of fun to work with and to the Galway Film Centre for the gig. Huge thanks to Eddie Connolly who helped me out hugely by playing Garda Eddie once more. He is far too modest and nice then anyone who is as funny as he is has a right to be. He could have really lorded that fact over me but he comes from a nice family.

Thanks to my mother Madely and my buddy Eoghan Quinn, who both took time out of shaping young minds to watch me hold a camera and scream unintelligibly at a group of moody teenagers.

This won an award. I didn't go to the screening and presentation of said award for fear that the kids would lynch me. I would like to dedicate this film to the lookalike I sent in my place who was tragically separated from his head at the 2009 Fresh Film Festival.

Enjoy!

Gangbusters Podcast Episode 5 "Petition.ie/Det Deegan" is now online

http://web.me.com/gangbusters/Site/Gangbusters/Gangbusters.html

Read it and weep scumbags.

Sorry, where are my manners, that might have been a bit hostile. How are you? Good? Good. Anything else? No? Fine.

I am pleased to announce that after a 2 week delay we've got a brand new episode of Gangbusters crammed full
of funny people and me struggling with my zoom recorder.

This week I'm joined by Petition.ie founder Gavin Portcullis (Kieran Lawless) about his inspiration behind the website, his plans to get The Offspring to play Croke Park and a proposed replacement for the Dublin Spire.

12:40 Kevin has an indecent proposal thrust upon him by his new boss.

16:35 We fast forward a week to interview the actor who plays Fair City's Detective Deegan who likes to be referred to only as Detective Deegan. He talks about his blooming props business, his inability to get paid, Shane McGowan's new boyband, various run ins with The Apprentice boss Bill Cullen and the Detectives confused relationship with Gabriel Byrne.

Theme music "The Next Last Thing" by So Cow from the album "These Truly Are End Times" available on i-tunes.
Thanks to Brian Kelly whose 2XM show "Fun To Hum" is on Monday at 11am, repeated on Friday at 10pm and is available on RTE Digital Radio.
Outro music: "Boom in the Sky" by Mali Junior from the album "The Smell of Bees" which you can also find on i-tunes.

Please write a nice review or rate us on i-tunes. If you can't be arsed doing that then the least you can do is become a fan on facebook https://www.facebook.com/pages/Gangbusters/126039257414423?ref=ts

Fun Facts About The Guests
----------------------

- Kieran was my flatmate for the summer of 2006. He was neat both in terms of cleanliness and character. I was neither. I used a globey glass light cover as an ashtray and pretended that the smoke was Kitty O'Shea's ghost rising up to meet Parnell in heaven.
- Back then, Kieran was one year older then me and I one year younger. To date this has not changed.
- Emmet was the founder and first MC of Basement Club Comedy night comedy in DeBurgo's where myself, Kieran, Bob Hennigan, Sean Sheridan happily dicked about for years.
- Emmet once had a cigarette with Pete Postlethwaite and said he was sound.*

(To clarify, Emmet told me that Pete Postlethwaite was sound. He didn't tell Pete Postlethwaite that he was sound. Pete Postlethwaite probably already knew that he was sound but didn't want to lord it over everyone. Because he was so sound.)


Not So Fun Facts
-------------

Pete Postlethwaite died earlier this year. His last film was "Inception", no matter what imdb says about something called "Killing Bono".

How a Hollywood hit became a criminal idea

by Giles Brody

If hacks borrow and geniuses steal, into what category do we put thieves who steal their criminal ideas from films? On Sunday, a daring raid in suburban Chicago was carried out by two armed criminals dressed in plastic nun habits, complete with masks. Their dress and robbery style was identical to those used by the career criminals in Ben Affleck's critically praised 2010 movie, The Town, set in Charlestown, Massachussetts, "the bank robbery capital of America".

Affleck's sophomore film made its way onto a number of critic’ Top 10 lists, but is now top of a less appealing chart. Since its release in September last year, the Oscar- nominated film has been cited as a direct inspiration in three different armed robberies.

The first real-life homage was staged in Gwinnett County, Georgia in December. Two men entered a jewellery store wearing clown and camouflage masks, and brandishing weapons. They made off with $68,000 in sparklers. It wasn't until a few days later when officers stopped a car flagged for auto thefts that the gang’s identity was uncovered. The police found four masks and a black Glock replica BB gun. Seung Woo Park, 18, admitted to police that the heist was inspired by the The Town.

The second copycat robbery was in early January in Florida, when two robbers wearing masks, dark clothing and gloves entered the Delray Beach bank. One robber controlled the crowd while the other went for the vault; he secured $67,000 before they escaped in a silver Cadillac. Their perfect getaway was hindered by police and news helicopters, which chased the thieves across three counties. The criminals abandoned the Cadillac but were rounded up by police shortly afterwards. Once again, one of the alleged robbers said he got the idea from The Town.

The third copycat raid - by far the most loyal to the source material – took place on Sunday in a Chicago suburb. Two robbers, one female and one male, entered the TFC Bank dressed as nuns and brandishing weapons, and made off with an undisclosed sum, which, if the pattern of the other crimes is consistent, was presumably $66,000 (and only 65 more copycats until The Town's copycat robberies become financially unedifying) . The nuns escaped and, as yet, police have no clues as to their identities. Perhaps this time they actually were reverend sisters.*

For criminals to take cues from popular films is hardly new. In 2008, two men were arrested after a heist reminiscent of the opening scene of Guy Ritchie’s 2000 movie, Snatch. Jules Dassin's masterful 1955 crime film Rififi was banned in Mexico and Finland because its atmospheric, 30-minute heist sequence was considered a how-to guide for budding jewel thieves. Logic has prevented real life reenactments of Reservoir Dogs from happening (Sunglasses. Pros: look cool. Cons: only cover a tenth of the face) . However there's evidence that not all thieves are as cunning. You’d have thought that the ending of The Town - where several of the gang members meet with sticky ends - would have put off most would-be criminals. But perhaps they were too busy hatching their plan to watch the whole film. **

* John wrote this joke. Thanks John.
** someone at The Independent wrote that last line. Kudos to you, whoever you are

(c) Independent UK, pg 26/27 "i"
3/6/11

Gangbusters Podcast Episode 4 "The Priest Detective" is now online

Hello gang,
I'm happy to announce that a new episode of Gangbusters is now online and available for download
at the link below.

http://web.me.com/gangbusters/Site/Gangbusters/Gangbusters.html

The official uploading was supervised by the Mayor of the Internet down at a civil function at
Internet City Hall, just so you know its all on the level. In the latest episode I talk to Fr Rex Clancy
(who sounds suspiciously Kevin McGahern) about juggling the religious life with unlicensed sleuthing.

You can sign up to the Facebook page for news, jokes and other free online comedy delights.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Gangbusters/126039257414423?ref=ts

If you enjoy the show (or really want to spite someone who doesn't) why not share it with a few
people or post a comment on i-tunes.

Way sound,

Giles

Gangbusters Podcast Episodes 2 and 3 !

I'm pleased to announce that the Gangbusters podcast is online and available at

http://web.me.com/gangbusters/Site/Gangbusters/Gangbusters.html

or

http://bit.ly/lfBQHR


Episode 2 is an interview with Brendan Gill, programme director of The Abbey Theatre. He speaks to me about his passion for recreating forgotten matches of yesteryear on the stage and his obsession with puppets.

In Episode 3 I interview Supt Delaney about all things concerning the Queen and Obama's visits to Ireland. I try to get to the bottom of a 2 week Aslan and helicopter festival on Achill proposed to lure troublemakers away from the capital during these state visits, and also discuss Operation Decoy Queens.



by and with Giles Brody & Kevin McGahern

I-Rate: Crystal Swing and a miss - Ireland's musical hate affair

Crystal Swing are a showband made up of three members of the Burke family from Cork - Mary, the mother, Derek, the son, and Dervla the daughter. They exploded onto the scene last year when their shoddy promo video "She Drinks Tequila" became a youtube sensation. They were interviewed on The Late Late Show and Ellen and came across as friendly, amiable sorts. However when asked to decipher the root causes of their new found fame, the Burke's attributed it to the song and the quirky energy of the video. We at home smirked at their innocence, we knew EXACTLY why the video was a hit, and if Crystal Swing knew they probably never would have left the house until the whole thing has blown over. The reason why the first video was so popular was because it looked like the son was going to do the daughter while the mother watched/cheered on. Its an unpleasant thought that reflects very poorly on our standards as a nation but its 100% true.

Their latest song, a cover of Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse Of The Heart", is accompanied by a video that's a cross between Straw Dogs and Meatloaf's "I Would Do Anything For Love". The video was made for Republic of Telly and features Derek beating up a squad of bikers that have chained up his mother and sister. The video was made by the perpetually snide Republic of Telly which, Rubberbandits aside, has all the artistic merit of a senile family member rereading the same joke from a Christmas cracker for the fifth time. The video piles on the incestuous vibes, going so far as to show the Burke siblings screaming declarations of love into each others face with unblinking unnerving eye contact.

Irish show bands probably consists of a long and proud history of sibling serenades. Donna and Joe from Eurostar a few years ago used their "will they/won't they/they're brother and sister you know/really? gross" factor to represent us in Europe. Unfortunately their mixture of Zeus and Hera sexual tension and music so bad it'd make your ears fall off your head and then jump off a bridge failed to impress the 200 million people watching. And when Donna and Joe came back we tore shreds out of them as if their victory had been preordained, a destiny that was scuppered by a lack luster performance on the night. We, the Irish people, had no more cause to be disappointed in Donna and Joe for failing to win Eurovision then I have cause to be upset with my dog for not answering my phone and taking a detailed message while I was out of the room. If the song is bad and the performers awkward and not terribly talented then failure is more of an inevitability then not.

Jedward, a harmless twin brother pop duo, are the latest family to benefit from Ireland's love affair with awful music and the snide confidence from anyone over the age of 14 that they're definitely doing each other. With hair they look like they photocopied from Brad Pitt in Johnny Suede coupled with a shrillness that could melt concrete, John and Edward were declared national heroes before we'd even heard them not quite sing. Try as I might I can't out and out dislike them. One of them ( I think the one whose predominantly on the left) broke his leg on stage and carried on in agony until the end of the performance. When you consider the sympathy pain that twins feel for each other that shows an unfathomable level of commitment. I once hastily wrapped up a stand up gig because the ice in my coke had melted, leaving my drink more watery then I care for.

The ability to sing has never stood in the way of many of a non singer finding work as a singer. This can be good and bad, there's a sliding scale. The likes of Bob Dylan and Townes Van Zandt might be told to shut up in a pub if they started singing "The Gambler" but they're recognised for the artistry of their words and the character of their performance. Conor Deasy from The Thrills (I can't remember if they were siblings who were all doing each other or not, they probably were) probably has a harder time but he's still the songs author and that's got to be worth something, even if the songs are ridiculously over romanticised love letters to one's J1 work visa destination.

(Incidentally I've written my own album about my American summer work experience. Its called "Fuck The Thrills". It charts myself and my friend Steve's journey throughout that magical summer of 2005.
1) "The World Is Our Oyster"
2) "We're Getting Jobs In Manhattan!"
3) "Wait, No We're Not!"
4) "The Two Best Cleaning Ladies Fire Island Hotel Has Ever Seen"
5) "That Cat-sized Cockroach We Share Our Room With Hates Me The Most"
6) "I Don't Tan, I Go Red And Then Green"
7) "My Boss Tells Me London Bombings Or No, I Can't Call Checking On Anyone's Safety Until After My Shift"
8) "That Girl Who Kissed Me Has A Fiancee and He's Mental"
9) "Eating Through A Straw"
10) "The Straw Broke, Where Am I Going To Get The Money For Another Straw"
11) "Lads, Meet Your New Roommate Tony. He's A Prick Who Will Have Sex With His Girlfriend On The Top Bunk"
12) "Steve And I Race To See Who Can Cry Themselves To Sleep The Quickest"
13) "There Is Not God"/ "Eating Through A Straw" reprise

)

When Crystal Swing are elected by the people to represent us in Ireland next year, the country needs to immediately adopt a "Well they tried their best" attitude. We're not a nation of winners, not anymore, and we've nobody to blame but ourselves. If the Eurovision is so important to us then why don't we beg someone like Neil Hannon to hop on a plane and restore our national musical dignity. There's some great bands and recording artists in Ireland at the moment. If only we give a tenth of our attention to celebrating and championing and forwarding on good music by good artists, then maybe we could finally start fighting our way out of what we've become - a nation of hypocrites snidely honouring shite while simultaneously eulogizing quality.

The White Wires - Lets Go To The Beach

Ian from The White Wires very kindly allowed me to direct a video based on their ace song "Let's Go To The Beach".

Special thanks to Jonny White for introducing me to the band
Brian Kelly for his relentless support and for tabbing the song
my brother Justin for teaching it to my Dad
my Dad (Frank) for learning it and cajoling his friends into taking part
Lily and Sean from Hansberry's Athenry for letting us take over their pub for a few hours
big thanks to Simon, my mother and all the unwitting extras and Roisin
thanks to Cormac Walsh for his Cormac Walshfulness
and the biggest thanks of all, as always, to Rory Walsh, for being a cross between Artie from Larry Sanders and Jesus Christ.