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Monday, February 3, 2014

The Shed Beat: Galway City

This story was brought to my attention by gentleman newshound Eoin Shaughnessy https://twitter.com/BobtheBollox  who had this to say about the original broadcast in an email:

Wish there was audio of this morning's news. He repeated the word 'shed' at least six times. "The shed is a matter of some concern." "This shed which used to a horse shed". "Yesterday evening when I went down to the shed..." etc.

Trying to imagine what he saw that so appalled him. A pantsless couple in one corner listlessly making the beast with two Abercrombied backs...a hunger-bloated urchin of indeterminate gender sipping from a bottle of turps and lying prone beside a pile of excrement at which a shivering old skeletal dog anxiously laps...all illuminated by a bare, flickering, moth-bedecked lightbulb to a soundtrack of Gimme Shelter.

I did some further digging online and found this article I made up:

"Drugged Up Sex Shed Must Shed Sex And Drugs Image If It's To Remain A Shed" Says Mayor Conneelly
Mayor Conneelly, who has been dubbed by locals as "Mayor Shed" or "The Shed Mayor", today issued an ultimatum to the controversial shed on Rahoon Road: rehabilitation or damnation. When asked for a statement the shed, which is comprised of 24 x 9 inch cavity blocks and around 15-20 x 4 inch solid blocks, made no comment.


Inline image 1

A photograph taken by Gardai from inside the infamous shed.


When man fights shed nobody wins. Perhaps the council could employ some shed wardens to monitor these sheds and eject those who fail to adhere to proper shed etiquette. If the council can't shell out for shed wardens perhaps benevolent citizens could step in to fill the role. If seven people gave up just twenty-four hours of their week, once a week for every week, then we could all hang around in abandoned sheds in city centres in the middle of the afternoon unencumbered by judgement and unhindered by sexy drugs.